dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
