I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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