So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
