I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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