I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
