The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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