very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
