I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
