If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
