Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
