Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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