are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
