just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
