i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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