I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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