ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
