Define "chronic" masturbator.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
