i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
