Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
