if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
