I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
