I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
