I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
