pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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