Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
