i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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