i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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