Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
