i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
