he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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