yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
