barbara walters just said penis...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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