Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no, he came in my armpit
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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