wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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