She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
