this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
