Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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