Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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