I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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