Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
