So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
