Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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