You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
