Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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