Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize