We won't sleep together?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
