I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
