Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize