I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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