I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
