party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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