Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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