Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
