my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
