What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No subtext here. People are naked.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
