I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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