just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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