is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
