Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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