i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
