She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
