Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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